I'm All In

I have been trying to learn poker. I know poker jumped the shark about 2 years ago, but that is why I'm interested now. I am so hip that I get into things AFTER the trend has hit the clearance rack. Just try to wrap your brain around that for a minute.

It's all my husband's fault really. His poker parties are so loud and raucous, how can that be a bad time? I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. We had a couples poker party and I had fun even though I had no idea what I was doing. I'm sure I folded a slam dunk hand and didn't know it. I am still trying to remember the difference between a straight and a flush. Don't even try to explain your theory about how you should bet depending on if it is before or after the flop, my eyes are starting to glaze over already.

So to bone up on it, we have taken to watching the World Poker Tour on TV. I love sitting there screaming at the TV because I know the guy with the sunglasses and the cowboy hat is about to get his ass handed to him because that other guy with no sunglasses and the baseball hat has a straight flush. Don't do it! Don't go all in you fool! Ohhhhh, I cover my eyes. There goes your kid's college tuition.

The great thing about watching WPT, besides the emboldened feeling that comes along with knowing something they don't know, and the hot babes dumping platters of cash on the table, is the commercials. All they do is run ads for online poker sites. Like, do they know their target audience or what? These ads kill me because they pair poker with opera. Is it the longing part or the everyone dies in the end part that makes this work? It actually really works, for some weird reason. Also, you can learn a lot of poker lingo, just from the commercials, although this one doesn't even mention puppy dogs, which bums me out. Why don't they talk about puppy dogs on the WPT?