Quick-Fix Bikini Emergency Kit

I have posted before about ways to get your butt in gear for bikini season. Here in Southern California that can be year-round but a lot of us just venture forth to the beach during the summer. But what if you haven't been working out much and you haven't been eating right? And you are going to the beach this weekend? First of all, make yourself a strong drink, I suggest whiskey. Then proceed with these quick fixes. These are not cure-alls, more like body band-aids for that last minute beach party. Exercise and eating right are the most important things, blah, blah, blah, but sometimes we need something quick and dirty to help us out of a jam.



The Right Suit: I always start beach season with a simple, solid-color suit. What would make you feel more confident? A simple black bikini in a flattering cut? .... or that canary yellow floral number with the ruffles? Later in the summer you will KILL in that wild suit, but probably not now, so tuck it back in the drawer and be smart. Add a sarong or a pair of shorts if it makes you more likely to get up and stroll the beach (great workout).



Carry Yourself Like a Lady: Now put your suit on and go stand in front of a mirror. This part is important, really. You are probably in the same pose you were when you bought the suit, sucking in your gut a bit, popping a hip to one side, telling yourself it isn't that bad, quietly sobbing. Turn away from the mirror and relax, stand the way you normally stand, now turn back around to face the mirror. Ackkgghhh!!! I know right? You simply must remember to stand and sit with good posture, I cannot stress this enough. Especially if you have ever had children. This will make all the difference and will easily make you look 10 pounds thinner/fatter. Sorry to scare you like that but there aren't mirrors at the beach so it is easy to forget how we actually carry ourselves in the real world. Put your shoulder back and work it girl. Watch some America's Next Top Model if you need pointers, it is a riot.

Fight Bloat with Natural Diuretics: Buy a big bag of lemons , slice up a few as soon as you walk in the door and put them in the fridge. Just get it over with. Then drop a few lemon wedges in whatever you are drinking throughout the day, garnish your dinner with them, drop a wedge of lemon into a nice glass of tea before bed, you get the picture. Lemon is a wonderful, gentle diuretic that will whisk away some of that water in your midsection. Next up is watermelon, another easy diuretic that can be your beachy snack. Low in calories and high in lycopene, second only to tomatoes!, also chock full of vitamin C and A in the form of beta-carotene, and potassium. So grab a watermelon while you are out buying your lemons and chop that up too. Don't you already feel less puffy?




Tank Up On Water: I know, why were we so worried about diuretics if we are going to chug a ton of water? Well water will help keep your skin looking beautifully clear, keep all your internal organs hydrated (kinda important) and actually help keep the bloating at bay as well. Triple threat. If you are a Diet Coke queen, cut back and replace with water (just for the short term, it's okay, breathe) because carbonated beverages can make you feel bloaty as well.




Avoid Salt and Carbs the night before. You think you are being virtuous by having a light dinner of soup and a 1/2 sandwich but stop! Between the soup and the lunch meat, your sodium intake is off the charts. Have yourself a nice green salad with some lean protein. Check the salad dressing for sodium too. You are probably craving sugar now if you haven't had any carbs with dinner but stay strong. There are a ton of great sugar-free options available for dessert: sugar-free Jello or pudding, fudgscicles, etc.



Exfoliate, Moisturize, Pedicure: Give yourself a nice good scrub down with a loofah and then give yourself a healthy slathering of moisturizer. Take a peek at your toes as well; you will be navel (and toe) gazing at the beach and they have probably been cooped up in boots all winter. I usually just do a home pedicure though because the sand and salt water will wreck your polish. Just a quick trim and a coat of something sassy and bright that will look cute in your flip-flops.

Fake Tanner is your friend. Now is not the time to get on your high horse about how you don't want to end up a shade of Lindsay Lohan toxic orange. You won't look like a Vegas hooker with just 1 or 2 applications of a tame 'medium' shade tanner. I like L'Oreal Sublime Bronze in the gel form but almost all of them work on the same principle. Since you are freshly exfoliated and moisturized, the tanner will work beautifully and just take the edge off your Casper hue. Just make sure you blend, blend, blend and then blend some more so you don't have any streaks. Oh and wash your hands really well afterwards.

And finally, relax and stop stressing. Stressing about putting on a bathing suit will actually raise the cortisol levels in your body, which can trigger some people to store fat in their abdominal area. If there was ever a case for lolling around doing nothing, surely it is this. A nice lavender bubble bath should do the trick. Plus scotch, scotch will definitely help. Just think, you are ahead of the game now. You have some tricks up your sleeve and you are going to have a blast, so get out there and turn some heads.