So get this, there is a dude on Twitter PRETENDING to be a blonde girl and he has almost FIFTEEN-HUNDRED followers. While I, a REAL live blonde girl, only have 240! Do you see the injustice here?! Of course I was aware there were probably fake hotties on Twitter. Hell I even had my suspicions about iJustine until I saw her with my own eyes. I didn't throw water on her to see if she'd short out though, so the jury's still out on that one.
I learned about "Britneymason" (no, seriously) after watching the Current clip all about the Twitterverse, featuring the lovely Holden (@sflovestory).
Holden, like me, is also a REAL LIVE FEMALE, I'm 99% sure. But Britneymason, also known as David Peck, is male, a father of five. The picture on his website depicts an idyllic scene, with his gaggle of children and adoring wife surrounding him on a dappled lawn. The mind boggles. What, you can't be happy being the archetypal hunter/gatherer for your tribe, you want to be the pinup too?
I'm sure he is the nicest person imaginable. But that dog don't hunt for me. My husband deciding to create a Twitter account as a hot blonde would set into action the longest talk of our married life. I'm talking a long-ass long talk. I'm talking a running out of food stores and needing to take a leave of absence long talk.
See, first I got weirded out. But then I got ENVIOUS. Yes I know I'm abusing the caps lock today. You see kids, some people spent their formative years smoking too much pot. I spent my formative years reading too much Dooce. Send your hate mail to Heather B. Armstrong.
I've finally come to grips with the reality of it. A poorly-done CGI dame is more likable than me, a poorly-done real-life dame. Okay, fine, be that way. I know it must be that he has technical skills and probably says lots of really deep, meaningful geeky stuff. I can't compete with that!
So alas, having nothing technically bright to add, I will now proceed to just make shit up. I got my pong.gn tweaked with my nacker mode set to 300. Sure I had to redirect the RIZ to donka.bu and stream the output, but once I got that hacked, it was aces. Wait 'til Scoble hears about this one! (this paragraph is made of 100% recycled identi.ca posts)
2 comments:
1. I'm 100%, baby. I have some endoscopic photos of my uterus, from my 2004 Battle of The Ovarian Cyst (which I won) if anyone's interested.
2. Here's the gossip on Mr. Peck. Via a trusted source (who may or may not work for OpenContent.tv who may or may not have produced the Current pod you posted above), I was told that he was not only a general jackass to the podographers (I just made that up! Yes, I'm proud of myself.), he actually LIVE TWEETED that they were "bugging" him WHILE THEY WERE THERE, FILMING HIM.
3. What makes this especially egregious is that, no one except for Biz Stone and that awesome Berkeley kid were hunted down for the pod. It was more or less a PR favor (i.e. both Peck and myself CHOSE to let OpenContent come into our lives and bug us because, hey, it sounded like fun, and HELLO! free PR).
4. Did you notice how he says, "a 27 year old buxom blonde...[long pause]...girl"? Telling.
From articles 1-4, I conclude that David Peck and his fictional weird Barbie-ish meets The Sims v1.0 is absolutely not worth jealousy.
I honestly just kinda worry about his poor kids. I mean, I *am* on the record saying that I don't see anything *inherently* wrong with "playing a role" on Twitter...but you don't have to show your children who's behind the curtain.
xx,
Holden
Did you say 100% babe? I think that's what you must have meant.
A man who looks a PR-favor in the mouth, especially coming from the nice people at Current/OpenContent? Probably burned more bridges than he'd thought possible.
After some introspection, I would have to agree with you, it's not worthy of jealousy. Like you, I wonder about his kids and what life will be like for them when their friends discover Twitter.
Post a Comment